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The Daily Bugle

Senator Hines has revealed how mutants will be handled: Sentinels.

A rumor traveled the circles of the supernatural. Mutants heard a safe, underground railroad was being started, inquire at the Summit. The beyond sought the strange power said to rest at the Summit of New York City. The gossip flitted amongst the rest: valuable information was to come to light when dawn broke over the Summit.
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 Bets [Prestige]

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Posts : 6
Join date : 2012-12-22

PostSubject: Bets [Prestige]   Sun Jan 06, 2013 5:28 pm

Topic Name: Bets
Topic Link: Bets
Topic Participants:

Drake Archer [Drake]
Emelie Romskaug [Confused]

Topic Description: When thugs confront Drake about owing some money, a super-powered woman drops in to save him.
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Posts : 189
Join date : 2012-12-24

PostSubject: Re: Bets [Prestige]   Mon Jan 07, 2013 11:43 pm

Prestige review with constructive comments. Feel free to PM with any comments, questions or concerns.

Length: 2
Relatively short.

Drake Archer [Drake] - 5
Emelie Romskaug [Confused] - 4
Watch out for homophones and repeated words and you'll be golden.

Quality of Story: 2
If you'd expanded on the exchange more - a woman coming down out of nowhere to help - I would have definitely given more. It was a bit too abrupt but entertaining.

Quality of Writing:
Drake Archer [Drake] - 9
Very nice writing style but posts were on the shorter side.

Emelie Romskaug [Confused] - 7
Great that you want to describe actions but feels rushed in shorter posts.

Drake Archer [Drake] - 2+5+2+9 = 18
Emelie Romskaug [Confused] - 2+4+2+7 = 15

Last edited by TheTempest on Mon Jan 07, 2013 11:46 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Bets [Prestige]   Mon Jan 07, 2013 11:45 pm

Added to the books.
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Bets [Prestige]
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